As She Fell
by Kazukagi
Summary: As she fell dying, Rukia took the moment to wonder, why had she stepped in front of Aizen's attack? Why had she sacrificed herself to save Kurosaki Ichigo? IchiRuki Oneshot


Disclaimer: I don't own bleach. I make no money from bleach. There I said it, now where's my paycheck?

**A/N: Just a little something I wrote out of boredom. My mind refused to click on my bigger stories, instead giving me little ideas here and there. I decided to jot this one down. Enjoy.**

As Rukia fell, she already felt her life drain away from her. She could tell that the move had been a mistake. But she knew it was right, it had fell too right to not be the correct one.

She saw him, standing before her, a surprised look on her face. If she could have she would have smiled, she made that bastard Aizen show an emotion besides cockiness. She could still see him, but now it was blurry, and his image started to fall upwards. She was falling, moving closer to the ground, but it was slow, and in that instant, she pondered.

Why had she jumped in the way of that attack? Why had she thrown her life into the gutter?

Of course, she already knew that answer. She had done it to save Ichigo. She could see that he was too injured, he couldn't have dodged. Aizen's blade was aimed perfectly, and it would have, absolutely and without fail, ended his life.

And so Rukia had stepped in front of the strike, taking the mortal wound instead of the strawberry. And on the way down, she wondered, why?

Why had she just killed herself, to save him? Yes, they were friends, nakama, as close as friends could be, but to do this?

Perhaps it had been for the same reasons she had saved him on the night they met, all those years ago. She had taken the hollow bite for him...because...because...

No, she thought, that reason was different. Back then, she had saved the carrot top because he was innocent, a civilian, just a boy who wanted to protect his family. It was her duty to save him.

But that wasn't right either, and Rukia stopped lying to herself. Back then, all those years ago under the full moon, she had saved Ichigo because, in that moment, as he ran to save his family, he had looked like Kaien. Her body had moved on its own, moved to protect Kaien. Her mentor, her father figure, her first love. She had moved to save him to make up for the time, all those years ago, when she had stabbed him to save her own miserable life.

But that boy, the boy whom in that instant was, to her, only a mirror image of Kaien, grew from that. It started with his name. Kurosaki Ichigo. She thought it was a great name. "One Who Protects," but she called him strawberry just to spite him.

He had taken her power, her burden, selflessly to save his family. When she found that she had nothing left, he once again picked up the gauntlet, wielding her powers against the hollows that moved to destroy his world.

As his strength grew, so did her worries. She started to worry that they would find her, that they would find him, and that all that selflessness would evaporate the moment his heart was skewered on a zanpakuto. As her worries grew, so did her fondness, for both him and the human world. She grew to love the simple pleasures of the day to day of school. The sleeping in his closet, the bonding of his family, the nightly hollow hunts. She had become fond of his room, of his voice, of his smell, of his smile.

But that couldn't be. She didn't belong there, she belonged elsewhere. She was a demon that had stumbled into heaven. And no matter how much she loved it, no matter how much the angels loved her, she didn't belong, she stuck out, and she was only destined to be dragged back to hell.

And so she fled. That night, she ran, leaving the boy she had grown so close to nothing more than a note. She kept telling herself it was because she didn't want to get him involved, and it was true. But there was something else. Truthfully, she could not have said goodbye, it would have hurt her too much, and her emotionless shinigami guise would come crashing down around her. The human world had a tendency to do that to her. In Soul Society, that cold attitude was needed to bear the pain of the other's hurtful gazes and whispers, but human world held no such things for her, and she found her guise becoming less and less necessary.

She was becoming weak, becoming too used to heaven. But she didn't belong there, it made her feel guilty to walk on its soil. So she fled.

But he followed her. He had sought her out, to try to keep her there. But it was futile. He was strong, but Byakuya and Renji both far outweighed the boy. Perhaps it was fitting. The embodiment of her past pains Renji, and the embodiment of her current pains, Byakuya, destroying the one shred of happiness she had been granted in a great long while.

And so, she let him go, crossing the gates back into her hell. But for one last moment, she looked back. She told herself not to, that it would only hurt, but her temptation overtook her, and slowly, she turned to look at him, dying on the ground. Her heart cried out to run to him, to smother him, to get him help. But she just stood silently, looking back until the gates between worlds closed, cutting her off from him, forever.

She sat silently in her holding cell, and then again in her shrine, finding comfort in her small talks with Hanataro, and with Renji. But all the while, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was happy to die, just so it could all end. A friend from the past who had abandoned her, a brother who wouldn't even look at her, and Ichigo, the one light in the darkness, dead. Slowly, she deadened to it all, letting herself fall into acceptance of her death.

And then he was there again. She had been 'rescued' by Hanataro and Kaien's brother, when he came. Once again, her insides churned again. Why, why was he here?

He walked right past her, first checking on his friends, then coming to her, stating simply and with total nonchalantness that he had come to save her. Of all her emotions, anger came to surface to hide the rest, telling him off for ignoring her.

But really, she was confused. Why had he not abandoned her? Everybody else had. Her mother, for one, a women she must have been to young to know, left her on the streets to fend for herself. He old fiends died and abandoned her, and soon, even Renji, the closest person to her, abandoned her as well. Then came Kaien, who died for her, leaving her all alone. Then, when the next person close to her came along, Byakuya, he abandoned her the moment her execution was announced, leaving her to die. So of course, when Ichigo became close to her, she had expected him to abandon her as well.

So why... why was he here? Why was he still coming after her, after she had done so much to push him away, to make his betrayal a little easier to bear when it came?

He had flashed her his smile, and she felt it. Just then, she could feel his warmth, she could smell him, see his smile. And then, she felt hope swell up in her heart.

He was quickly dispatched however, his teammates making a swift retreat. And so she was placed back into her cell, and any semblance of hope was yet again erased from her thoughts..

Her execution, she had been expecting it. So when she kneeled apon the cross of the Sokyoku, she only gave her deep thoughts a moment of rest to request for her friends to be allowed safe passage from Soul Society. Even as the commander made his promise, and she thanked his kindness, she knew they would not leave alive. They would all die, their blood spilled for somebody like her, dirt not worth spitting on.

She checked off all those close to her in her head, saying thank you to each one. She had been avoiding his name, his face, but soon both were in her head, haunting her, plaguing her mind.

She wracked her brain, brought all her emotions together to try to find the words she wanted to say to him. So many lines, so many emotions, but in the end, as she stared the fiery form of death in the face, only one word came to her in the end.

Goodbye.

But it wasn't goodbye. Because when she opened her eyes again, wondering why she hadn't been incinerated yet, there he was, standing before her, that smile on his face.

Yo.

She yelled at him again, letting her anger take over where her other emotions were in too much turmoil to come to the surface. He simply flipped onto the execution grounds, swinging his sword and, with a burst of strength, smashed her bonds. He held her gently in his left arm. It wasn't the most intimate way to carry somebody, more like he was carrying a bag of potatoes. But she didn't care.

_I can't embrace you while holding a sword, I can't protect you without one._

He continued to smile, and again she felt it, his presence. He relaxed her, set her at ease. Her face, for the first time since she had left the human world, turned into a genuine smile.

She had told him she wouldn't thank him, but really, she already had, a thousand times over. He hadn't abandoned her. He had stayed by her side when nobody else would.

He gave her to Renji to protect, and then went off to fight her brother. As she talked with Renji, she could tell. Ichigo had gotten to him, had taken his heaven and passed it on to Renji. He was his old self again, the one before he had abandoned her.

When it was all over, and Aizen had left, Rukia fell before her brother, listening to his story about her sister, and how she had been abandoned by her as well. But then she learned of how she had searched for her every day, and how much Hisana had cared for her. And then, for the first time, Byakuya had looked at her, and uttered his apology.

She waved goodbye to Ichigo. He had taken the news of her staying well, quite well. He gave her his smile, and turned to leave.

"Thank you, Ichigo."

She had said she would never utter those words, but just this once, she would go back on her word. Because he had taken his happiness, his slice of heaven, and spread it to her once hell. Byakuya, Renji, all the rest, now had a piece of Ichigo inside of them, and no longer did she feel smothered within the Soul Society's walls. He had saved her, in more ways than she had ever dreamed, or he thought.

So when she returned to the human world on a mission, overjoyed to see Ichigo again, she was dismayed to find that he had lost his light. She couldn't believe that. Ichigo wasn't meant to have no light. So he had an inner hollow, what difference did that make? She couldn't fathom why he was feeling that way, so she decided to act. She made a grand entrance in his school, dragged him out to fight, and tried to remind him of why he should fight. She had hoped, prayed that it would work, and her prayers were answered. Ichigo slew the hollow, his smile back, and his resolve stronger than ever.

After her fight with Grimmjow, he had been almost too concerned over her. She was barely conscious, but in that moment, when she opened her eyes, she saw how he loomed over her, his face creased with worry.

She had followed him into Hucho Mundo, ready to have his back. Instead she was dragged off by herself. She expected a tough opponent. She had not expected to fight a specter of her past.

The whole battle with the shape shifting Arrancar, she struggled with herself. Was the Arrancar that had Kaien's face really him? Her mind said no, but she couldn't control herself any longer. She continued to fight a losing battle, only to be impaled. She should have died, but instead she remembered his words, his face.

He had said that all people fight for heart.

He had said that he people pass their hearts on to others.

He had given her his heart.

So she stabbed him, preformed the third dance of her noble sword and finished the impostor off.

No longer weighted down by Kaien's shadow, Rukia allowed herself a smile.

I'm coming for you... she had said before passing out. Her mind had been thinking of Orihime, but perhaps, just maybe, she had really meant Ichigo.

The war had continued on, though Rukia didn't see much of it. It had become a captain's battle, where bankai was a requirement, and Rukia did not posses one. She had asked Urahara to help her, but he could not spare the time from the front lines.

It was only in the final battle that she had been deployed. They had mobilized all seated shinigami, and they fought for their lives against the swarms of Arrancar. The captains went toe to toe with the remaining espada, while Ichigo fought head on with Aizen. She had just finished an Arrancar off, turning to see how he was doing, when she saw Aizen moving to land the death blow. At first she did nothing, but then she found that her feet had moved, that she had flashed over to where he was, that she was suddenly in front of that sword, and that it was not Ichigo, but her that felt the fridged burn of the cold steel.

And so, all the way down, Rukia wondered, why had she done it? Why had she stepped in front of that sword? She mentally smiled, the answer was obvious.

She did not want him to die. He was her entire world, he had taken her dark world and brought even the most distant corners of her soul into the light. He was everything to her, and so losing him would mean losing everything.

She loved Kurosaki Ichigo.

As she finally hit the ground, crimson liquid falling like rain from her form only to pool below her, she let her eyes flutter, and slowly, ever so slowly, begin to close in her final action.

"Rukia!!"

And her eyes snapped wide open. She heard him, only for a second, then she was deaf again. He was screaming after her, and then he was back on his feet, his bloody body moving past hers, understanding that she had given him the only opening he would get. Rukia's brain worked as fast as it could without blood. He had screamed for her. For her...

And so Rukia promised herself that she wouldn't die. Not yet, not until she told him everything. Not until she swallowed her pride and told him how he was her entire world, how she loved him, how she wanted to spend the rest of her life basking in his light.

As Rukia felt her eyes begin to close against her will, the corners of Rukia's lips turned upwards in a smile.

But first, she thought, I have to give him a good whack on the head for letting his guard down like that...

**Wheh, that turned out longer that I thought it would. This is an example of a go with the flow fic. No pre writing, no mapping, no drafts, no nothing. I just came up with this and allowed it to flow from my mind to my fingers to my computer. I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot, and check out my stories, "When he Smiles at Me", and "The Actress," for more IchiRuki goodness!**


End file.
